Everyone has been wronged at one time or another. Whether it was our trust being broken, our feelings hurt, or a physical or material transgression, at some point the sense of violation that comes with feeling victimized is a universally shared emotion. The question is, do we allow the wrong that was done to define or consume us, or do we let go of our righteous anger and forgive? According to Rosemary Thornton, in an article on Wikihow, “One of the thorniest and most difficult things we humans are ever called upon to do is to respond to evil with kindness, and to forgive the unforgivable. We love to read stories about people who have responded to hatred with love, but when that very thing is demanded of us personally, our default seems to be anger, angst (dread or anguish), depression, self-righteousness, hatred, etc. Your enemy may not deserve to be forgiven for all the pain and sadness and suffering purposefully inflicted on your life, but you deserve to be free of this evil. “Remember, forgiving a transgression does not mean you accept the wrong that was committed against you. What is does mean is that you have chosen to acknowledge the bad behavior, try to find a way to learn or grow from the experience, and move on. Holding on to the anger that comes from feeling wronged only exhausts and consumes us. In fact, it can even keep us trapped in an endless cycle of hurt and anger in which we ruminate upon the event by retelling the story over and over. As the great Buddha said, "Anger is like a hot coal, if you hold onto it you will be burned, therefore, you must let it go.”
For more information on the connection between anger, rumination, and forgiveness please visit our website at www.nvamc.com, or call 1-888.992.6479 today. Recognizing the connection is the first step to letting go.