RIP Leelah Alcorn - Voice & Choice for Transgender Youth

Rest in peace Leelah Alcorn(#LeelahAlcorn). Leelah’s death, by her own hand, is a tragic and unnecessary loss of a young and vibrant human being. Consequently, her death is a wake up call for American society. We, as a society, need to increase our awareness of the needs of transgender youth, and legislate laws to support access to positive gender expression, ASAP, to prevent future transgender suicides. How a person expresses their gender is a social construct. We, as a first world society, need to wake up and recognize that only biology is assigned at birth. How we identify, i.e., male/female, is cultural, taught in the home, and reinforced socially in the community (school/church/synagogue/temple). This is termed positive gender expression. In the United States education is institutionalized; and as such, math, science, reading, etc. are taught in school. We now teach nutrition in school. The question then becomes when do we, as a first world society, begin teaching tolerance and choice? When do we institutionalize humanity? Should we not teach this in school as well? Is this not as important as math, science, or nutrition? At present, parental consent is not required to obtain birth control. In California, if a teen age 12 or above is at risk and meets medical necessity they are able to obtain mental health services without parental consent. However, a transgender youth in crisis is not allowed to determine their gender identification and receive services to support positive gender expression? This is not acceptable. How many more lives do we need to lose before making the appropriate changes to support positive gender expression? We cannot allow Leelah’s death to be an empty tragedy. Instead, let us honor her death by giving it the meaning she requested in her suicide note (http://www.bing.com/search?q=Leelah%20Alcorn&form=PRNWBW&mkt=en-US&refig=27602cce3f714e8e82aaf3bd96bd7d18&filters=tnTID%3A%227C93FC78-DD64-4600-9657-306A2B088BAF%22+bwt%3A%22mixbingnowv2%2Cirank%3Dnews%2Cnoc%3D1%2Cfco%3DPRNWBW%2Cprm%3Dmp1%2Cfcwbg%3D1%2Cnc%3D1%2Cwo%3D300px%2Cho%3D556px%2Cmad%3D10000000%2Cprmt%3D1%2Cadsr%3D1%22+bwh%3A%22556px%22+bww%3A%22300px%22+bwu%3A%22host%2Bwww.msn.com%22+bwmkt%3A%22en-US%22+bwq%3A%22Leelah%20Alcorn%22). Let us honor her last request and gather as a society to advocate for change today!!!!!

For further information about transgender youth, or for resources/referrals for supportive servcies, please visit http://www.lalgbtcenter.org or call 1-323-993-7400 today.

Tips For Surviving The Holidays: Recognizing & Overcoming The Holiday Blues

It happens every year. Shortly after Halloween, the Holiday season begins. It starts with the retail ads, picks up speed in the grocery stores, and often consumes the work place and community, then before you know it the tidal wave of “good cheer” has taken over everyday life. Except, many people don’t feel very cheerful. In fact, at times, many people find themselves simultaneously dreading and resenting the Holidays. Indeed, some may even find themselves identifying with Ebeneezer Scrooge, in that they are inexplicably feeling angry, bitter, sad, resentful, overwhelmed, lonely, and disconnected. However, if you or someone you love believe have identified many, if not all, of the symptoms of “Scrooge-itis” this does not mean you secretly dislike children, nor that you will suddenly become miserly, greedy, or mean. What these symptoms may mean is that you or a loved one may be struggling with unresolved Grief and Loss, Traumatic Grief, Trauma, Abandonment issues, or concerns otherwise deemed “The Holiday Blues.” The good news is you, or your loved one, is not ALONE! Thousands of people feel the exact same way each and every year. The importance of recognizing the signs and symptoms associated with “The Holiday Blues” and seeking professional help is the key to successfully coping with the holiday season. If you, or a loved one, are experiencing several or more of the following symptoms seek immediate assistance from a mental health professional in your area, or call the National Crisis Hotline 24 hours a day at 1-800-273-8255 www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org: 1) Sadness 2) Tearfulness 3) Hopelessness 4) Isolating 5) Unexplained loss of Interest in previously enjoyed hobbies or activities 6) Unexplained loss of appetite 7) Unexplained increase in appetite 8) Unexplained anger/irritability 9) Disrupted Sleep 10) Inability to focus 11) Increased use of alcohol 12) Suicidal Ideation 13) Homicidal Ideation 14) Poor hygiene/lack of desire to bath/brush teeth 15) Increased absences at work or school For more information, or referrals, regarding coping with the Holiday Blues help is just a phone call away. Call 211, 1-800-854-7771 or visit www.healthycity.org or www.namila.org/crisis-hotlines-hospitals For life threatening emergencies or immediate assistance call 911. Remember, you are not alone! Happy Holidays from All of Us at North Valley Anger Management Consultants! For more information about our anger, stress, and domestic violence programs call 1-888-992-6479 or visit www.nvamc.com.

According to Fox News, Baltimore Ravens player Ray Rice publicly apologized to his wife on Monday, 9/8/14, and said she can "do no wrong," just months after he allegedly struck his then-fiancee and was caught on video dragging her from an Atlantic City elevator. It was the first time the running back answered questions about the Feb. 15 incident, which earned him a two-game suspension from the NFL. "What happened that night is something that never should have happened," Rice, 27, said. He called the violent incident his "lowest low" and expressed concern that his 2-year-old daughter with wife Janay Palmer would one day learn about her dad's mistake on Google. "It hurts because I can't go out there and play football, but it hurts more because I have to be a father and explain what happened to my daughter," he said. Rice declined to say what triggered the incident, saying he just wants to move forward with his family. "My actions that night were totally inexcusable," he said. Rice called his wife an "angel" and said he let her, her parents, his teammates and the entire Baltimore community down. He also brought up his mother. "I know that's not who I am as a man," Rice said. "That's not who my mom raised me to be. If anyone knows me they know I was raised by a single parent and that was my mother." He also said that "when the time is right," he and Palmer want to help other couples affected by domestic abuse. Rice called the violent fight a "one-time incident." Although Rice was arrested following the altercation, in which he allegedly struck Palmer and has been accepted into a diversion program concern remains regarding the example and influence set by such high profile public figures to the public and most especially to impressionable youth. Apologies aside, true repentance can only be demonstrated by Rice fulfilling his commitment to his family and to the youth of this great nation who look up to Rice as a role model. I am certain Mr. Rice does not want his daughter to believe hitting women is what angry men do, thus growing up to marry an abuser is simply the lot of women. If you, or someone you love, is in a domestic violence relationship, help is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. For further information, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit www.thehotline.org. If you or someone you love is in imminent danger please dial 911 from any telephone immediately. The Associated Press contributed to this report

NFL Imposes Domestic Violence Penalties With Lifetime Ban For Second Offense Coming under increased pressure, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell sent a memo to all 32 of the league’s owners informing them of severe penalties that can now be imposed for matters of domestic violence. A six-game suspension for a first offense would be levied and a lifetime ban for a second offense would affect players in the NFL. Recently Goodell came under fire for only giving Ray Rice a two-game suspension for assaulting his girlfriend while Cleveland Browns receiver Josh Gordon has been suspended an entire season after failing a second drug test, reportedly for marijuana. In making the change, Goodell appears to be addressing not only that, but sending a message to all other sports leagues about the need to increase penalties for domestic violence. Goodell said that the league had fallen short of its goals in reference to the Ray Rice suspension. “I didn’t get it right” Goodell writes in the memo. “Simply put, we have to do better. And we will.” Goodell said that he had reviewed the Personal Conduct Policy of the NFL and decided that changes needed to be made, and outlined them in several steps meant to correct the issue of domestic violence. “These steps are based on a clear, simple principle: domestic violence and sexual assault are wrong,” Goodell wrote. “They are illegal” adding that “they have no place in the NFL.” The policy does not only impact players, but non-players, as well. Goodell noted that the league will continue to work with leading experts to expand the scope of education on domestic violence and sexual assault for all NFL personnel — players and non-players. On top of that, Player Engagement Directors, Human Resource Executives and other appropriate team personnel at each club in the NFL will undergo comprehensive training to help them understand and identify risk factors associated with domestic violence and sexual assault. For those that are at risk, Goodell has directed the clubs to offer private, confidential assistance. Goodell said that the league would expand its efforts to promote awareness at all levels of football that the NFL has connections to including high school and college levels. He also added that he would seek potential participation of current and former players, coaches and families who have been affected and are willing to speak out about domestic violence. The NFL Players Association was notified of the policy change, but as the matter is considered under personal conduct, Goodell was able to make the change unilaterally. Still, the union for the players made it clear that given the severity, they would be closely engaged. “We were informed today of the NFL’s decision to increase penalties on domestic violence offenders under the Personal Conduct Policy for all NFL employees,” the NFLPA said in a statement. “As we do in all disciplinary matters, if we believe that players’ due process rights are infringed upon during the course of discipline, we will assert and defend our members’ rights.” Below is the text of Commissioner Goodell’s memo: Since becoming Commissioner, my focus has been on ensuring that the NFL is held in the highest regard by our fans, players, business partners, and public authorities. My commitment has always been to do what is right and to protect the integrity of the game, both now and long into the future. Recently, we have addressed issues of respect — respect for co-workers, opponents, fans, game officials, and others. Whether in the context of workplace conduct, advancing policies of diversity and inclusion, or promoting professionalism in all we do, our mission has been to create and sustain model workplaces filled with people of character. Although the NFL is celebrated for what happens on the field, we must be equally vigilant in what we do off the field. At times, however, and despite our best efforts, we fall short of our goals. We clearly did so in response to a recent incident of domestic violence. We allowed our standards to fall below where they should be and lost an important opportunity to emphasize our strong stance on a critical issue and the effective programs we have in place. My disciplinary decision led the public to question our sincerity, our commitment, and whether we understood the toll that domestic violence inflicts on so many families. I take responsibility both for the decision and for ensuring that our actions in the future properly reflect our values. I didn’t get it right. Simply put, we have to do better. And we will. The public response reinforced my belief that the NFL is held to a higher standard, and properly so. Much of the criticism stemmed from a fundamental recognition that the NFL is a leader, that we do stand for important values, and that we can project those values in ways that have a positive impact beyond professional football. We embrace this role and the responsibility that comes with it. We will listen openly, engage our critics constructively, and seek continuous improvement in everything we do. We will use this opportunity to create a positive outcome by promoting policies of respect for women both within and outside of the workplace. We will work with nationally recognized experts to ensure that the NFL has a model policy on domestic violence and sexual assault. We will invest time and resources in training, programs and services that will become part of our culture. And we will increase the sanctions imposed on NFL personnel who violate our policies. In the past few weeks, I have reviewed all aspects of our Personal Conduct Policy and met with a wide range of experts (several of whom we have been working with for some time), as well as with the NFLPA and many of you. Those discussions will continue. They have helped us to identify a number of steps that will better communicate our position and strengthen our policies on domestic violence and sexual assault. These steps are based on a clear, simple principle: domestic violence and sexual assault are wrong. They are illegal. They have no place in the NFL and are unacceptable in any way, under any circumstances. That has been and remains our policy. Many of you have done excellent work in this field, both personally and through the efforts of concerned players and your community relations and player engagement departments. Our goals are to prevent violence, impose appropriate discipline, provide professional support resources when appropriate, and publicly embrace a leadership role on this issue. Consistent with that view, I have directed the following actions to reinforce and enhance our policies: First, we will continue our work with leading experts to expand the scope of our education on domestic violence and sexual assault for all NFL personnel — players and non-players. This will include enhanced training for entering players through the Rookie Symposium and Rookie Success Program, as well as new programs designed for veteran players and other NFL personnel. All NFL personnel — players and non-players — will receive information about available league resources and local support and advocacy groups in their community. Second, our club Player Engagement Directors, Human Resource Executives, and other appropriate team personnel will undergo comprehensive training to help them understand and identify risk factors associated with domestic violence and sexual assault. Any person identified as being at risk will be afforded private, confidential assistance. Persons who decline this assistance will be held accountable for that decision in determining discipline for any subsequent act of domestic violence or sexual assault. This is a complicated matter and must be approached with care. We will work with experts to identify strategies based on the most reliable research, recognizing that violence can and does take different forms but generally involves a pattern of coercive behavior. Third, we will ensure that the NFL LifeLine and NFL Total Wellness Program are staffed with personnel trained to provide prompt and confidential assistance to anyone at risk of domestic violence or sexual assault – whether as a victim or potential aggressor. Information regarding these resources will be furnished to all NFL personnel and their families. Our Player Engagement Directors and Human Resource Executives will meet with team spouses and significant others to ensure that they are aware of the resources available to them as NFL family members, including the ability to seek confidential assistance through independent local resources, as well as through the club or the NFL Total Wellness Program. In this respect, we will utilize our existing, established telephone and on-line programs, and will communicate the full range of available services to all NFL personnel and their families. Fourth, the outside groups we met with have emphasized that the NFL can play an important role in communities throughout the nation. Consistent with that advice, we will expand the educational components in our college, high school and youth football programs that address domestic violence and sexual assault. We will seek to create and promote programs that develop the character of the young men who play, coach or manage our game, emphasizing respect for women and appropriate ways to resolve conflicts. Outreach efforts embodied in these programs will help young people recognize, establish and maintain healthy relationships. In our earliest contact with young men, we can communicate our expectations, establish NFL standards of conduct, and stress the responsibility that all men have to adhere to those standards. Fifth, we recognize that domestic violence and sexual assault are broad social issues, affecting millions of people. We want our public role to be both constructive and effective. In the coming months, we will explore meaningful ways to incorporate domestic violence and sexual assault awareness and prevention into our public service work. We will do this with the assistance of responsible outside organizations and the potential participation of current and former players, coaches and families who have been affected and are willing to speak out. Actions we take in this respect will be sensitive, thoughtful and will recognize the positive role models and high character presented by so many men in the NFL. Finally, and consistent with our Personal Conduct Policy, our own response to domestic violence or sexual assault incidents by NFL personnel will include new elements of evaluation, treatment and family support, as well as enhanced discipline. We will address these issues fairly and thoughtfully, respecting the rights of all involved and giving proper deference to law enforcement and the courts. If someone is charged with domestic violence or sexual assault, there will be a mandatory evaluation and, where professionally indicated, counseling or other specialized services. Effective immediately, violations of the Personal Conduct Policy regarding assault, battery, domestic violence or sexual assault that involve physical force will be subject to a suspension without pay of six games for a first offense, with consideration given to mitigating factors, as well as a longer suspension when circumstances warrant. Among the circumstances that would merit a more severe penalty would be a prior incident before joining the NFL, or violence involving a weapon, choking, repeated striking, or when the act is committed against a pregnant woman or in the presence of a child. A second offense will result in banishment from the NFL; while an individual may petition for reinstatement after one year, there will be no presumption or assurance that the petition will be granted. These disciplinary standards will apply to all NFL personnel. With very few exceptions, NFL personnel conduct themselves in an exemplary way. But even one case of domestic violence or sexual assault is unacceptable. The reality is that domestic violence and sexual assault are often hidden crimes, ones that are under-reported and under-acknowledged. The steps we are taking will reinforce our commitment to address this issue constructively. In addition to focusing on domestic violence and sexual assault, we will continue to maintain strong policies regarding weapons offenses. We are similarly working to strengthen our response to impaired driving. We have sought – unsuccessfully – for several years to obtain the NFLPA’s agreement to more stringent discipline for DUI, including mandatory deactivation for the game immediately following an arrest and a minimum two-game suspension for a first violation of law. We will continue to press our position on this issue in the hope of securing the union’s agreement. There are three steps that each club should take promptly: first, post and distribute the attached “Memorandum to All NFL Personnel” to every player under contract to your club; second, ensure that your head coach reviews the information in that notice with his staff and with all your players; and third, share this letter and the attached Memorandum with all members of your organization, including your team president, General Manager, Human Resources Executive, Security Director, and Player Engagement Director. In the coming weeks, we will contact all clubs on further steps to be taken in support of these initiatives. I am grateful for the thoughtful advice received from so many of you and for the support that I know you will give to this important work. MEMORANDUM TO ALL NFL PERSONNEL Domestic violence and sexual assault are wrong. They are illegal. They are never acceptable and have no place in the NFL under any circumstances. Our Personal Conduct Policy has long made clear that domestic violence and sexual assault are unacceptable. We clearly must do a better job of addressing these incidents in the NFL. And we will. Earlier today, I sent NFL owners a letter that identified specific actions we will take to improve our response to domestic violence and sexual assault. Those actions include the following: • All NFL Personnel will participate in new and enhanced educational programs on domestic violence and sexual assault. We will also increase our outreach to college and youth football programs. • Families will receive detailed information about available services and resources, both through the club and independent of the club. These resources and services will be available to employees and their families on a confidential basis. • Violations of the Personal Conduct Policy regarding assault, battery, domestic violence and sexual assault that involve physical force will be subject to enhanced discipline. A first offense will be subject to a suspension of six weeks without pay. Mitigating circumstances will be considered, and more severe discipline will be imposed if there are aggravating circumstances such as the presence or use of a weapon, choking, repeated striking, or when the act is committed against a pregnant woman or in the presence of a child. A second offense will result in banishment from the league; an offender may petition for reinstatement after one year but there is no assurance that the petition will be granted. These disciplinary consequences apply to all NFL personnel. If you believe that you or someone you know may be at risk of domestic violence or other misconduct, we strongly encourage you to seek assistance through your club’s director of player engagement, human resources department, the NFL LifeLine or an independent local domestic violence resource. Help is available and can prevent potentially tragic incidents. For further information please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 today, or visit www.thehotline.org Help is available 24 hours a day 365 days a year.

Roger Goodell

25 Ways to Tell if Your Relationship is Toxic

1. Your partner put you down verbally, in private, or in front of others. 2. Your partner tells you he/she loves you, but their behavior shows otherwise. 3. Your partner doesn't want you to see, or talk, two friends or family. 4. Your partner is jealous of the time you spend with your kids. 5. Your partner shows up often at your work unexpectedly or opens your mail. 6. Your partner calls you often to see what you're doing. 7. You cry often, or feel depressed, over your relationship. 8. Your partner says you would have the perfect relationship if YOU would change. 9. Your partner want you to be dependent upon them. 10. Your partner does things, and then uses them to make you feel obligated. 11. Your thoughts, opinions, accomplishments, or words, our devalued. 12. You don't know who you are anymore without him/her, or how you would survive. 13. Your friends/family don't like your partner, or don't think he/she is good for you. 14. You have changed things about yourself to suit your partner, even when it is not to your taste. 15. You always go where your partner wants to like the movies, restaurants, etc. 16. Your partner has made you feel afraid, or unsafe, and you have been afraid to speak the truth at times for fear of upsetting him/her open [walking on eggshells]. 17. You don't feel you have control of your life anymore. 18. Your self-esteem is lower since you've been with your partner. 19. You think it's up to you to make the relationship work. 20. You keep secrets about your relationship from others who love you because they wouldn't understand. 21. Your partner makes you feel unattractive, or stupid. 22. Your partner accuses you of cheating and is overly jealous. 23. Your partner can be really sweet to you one minute, and really mean the next. 24. Your partner seems really sweet/loving to you when he/she thinks you are about to leave the relationship, or after he/she has been mean to you. 25. You can't remember the last time you felt happy for more than a few days straight. If you have answered yes to five (5), or more, of these toxic relationship identifiers, you may be in a toxic relationship. Toxicity is a red flag for domestic violence. For more information and a free consultation, please call 1-888-992-6479 or visit our website at www.nvamc.com.

Domestic Violence is Aggravated Assault: Only You Can Stop The Cycle of Violence!

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS AGGRAVATED ASSAULT!

Don't Live in Fear of Domestic Violence ! If you, or someone you love, is living with domestic violence help is available 24 hours a day. Take the first step and make a phone call; you may be saving a life. For further information, please call the following numbers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Domestic Violence Hotline 800-978-3600 National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-SAFE (7233) TDD 800-787-3224 Domestic violence is more than just a "family problem"; it is a crime. The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) recognizes that domestic violence is a major problem in Los Angeles County and throughout the United States. Each year, more than two million women are victims of domestic violence, and one million children are physically abused. In California, it is a crime for any person to threaten, beat, sexually assault or otherwise harm another person, even if they are married. Battering is not exclusively a crime against women, but they are the majority affected. One of every two families in the United States is involved in domestic violence at some time. Domestic violence is a repetitive pattern in people's lives. Victims or witnesses of domestic violence in childhood are mostly likely to repeat such acts as adults. The current incidence of domestic violence cannot be tolerated. Too many women are beaten. Too many children are abused. Too many homes are battlegrounds. There is a way out! Victims do not need to submit and lead a life of tension between calm and storm. If you are a victim of domestic violence, now is the time to start thinking about protecting yourself. The fact that you are seeking assistance is a very good sign. It means you are seriously considering your situation. Calling the police, telling a friend, or contacting a shelter is the first step. Please don't wait until it is too late. Many studies show that an uninterrupted cycle of violence only worsens over time. Hotlines and shelters are there to be used and counseling is available. It's as close as a phone call and it's free. Let us help you. Stop the violence and stay safe! If you would like further information about domestic violence or other mental health services, please call 1-888-992-6479. Your consultation is free and confidential.

Cut Your Stress Today: Anger & Stress Management Tips For Busy People

With today's hectic schedule managing stress is an even more important key to successful anger management. Statistically, how we conceptualize the various demands in our lives and the emotional value we place on each of these many stresses makes all the difference in our ability to successfully juggle the often overwhelming demands of modern life, which broadly translates into how well we manage our anger. When we pair this combination with the very human tendency to protect our feelings by not talking about how we feel it equals a recipe for stressed out and angry people. Critically, the following example illustrates the connection between internalized thoughts and feelings and the enormous difference sharing our emotional burdens (internalized thoughts and feelings) with friends, family, or professional providers can make in the successful management of anger and stress. " A young lady confidently walks around a room while explaining anger and stress management to an audience with a raised glass of water. Everyone in the room thought she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or half full?' She fooled them all .... "How heavy is this glass of water?" she inquired with a smile. Many answers were called out ranging from 8 oz. to 20 oz. She replied , "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "and that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on." "As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced. So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night. Metaphorical Tips to Help Successfully Manage Anger and Stress: 1 * Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue! 2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet just in case you have to eat them. 3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. 4 * Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker. 5 * If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. 6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. 7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. 8 * Never buy a car you can't push. 9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on. 10 * Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. 11 * Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late. 12 * The second mouse gets the cheese. 13 * When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live. 15 * Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once. 16 * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box. 17 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. 18 * Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY 19 * Save the earth..... It's the only planet with chocolate! References: "Out of The Rough" by Fred Arnold

Forgiveness May Be The Key To Letting Go of Anger

Everyone has been wronged at one time or another. Whether it was our trust being broken, our feelings hurt, or a physical or material transgression, at some point the sense of violation that comes with feeling victimized is a universally shared emotion. The question is, do we allow the wrong that was done to define or consume us, or do we let go of our righteous anger and forgive? According to Rosemary Thornton, in an article on Wikihow, “One of the thorniest and most difficult things we humans are ever called upon to do is to respond to evil with kindness, and to forgive the unforgivable. We love to read stories about people who have responded to hatred with love, but when that very thing is demanded of us personally, our default seems to be anger, angst (dread or anguish), depression, self-righteousness, hatred, etc. Your enemy may not deserve to be forgiven for all the pain and sadness and suffering purposefully inflicted on your life, but you deserve to be free of this evil. “Remember, forgiving a transgression does not mean you accept the wrong that was committed against you. What is does mean is that you have chosen to acknowledge the bad behavior, try to find a way to learn or grow from the experience, and move on. Holding on to the anger that comes from feeling wronged only exhausts and consumes us. In fact, it can even keep us trapped in an endless cycle of hurt and anger in which we ruminate upon the event by retelling the story over and over. As the great Buddha said, "Anger is like a hot coal, if you hold onto it you will be burned, therefore, you must let it go.” For more information on the connection between anger, rumination, and forgiveness please visit our website at www.nvamc.com, or call 1-888.992.6479 today. Recognizing the connection is the first step to letting go.

Grand Opening & Ribbon Cutting!!!

Dear Family, Friends, and Colleagues, Please join us on Saturday, April 12, 2014, between 11:30 am to 2:00 pm for a BBQ and Ribbon Cutting Ceremony to celebrate the opening of our new office in Mission Hills, CA. You might even meet some nice people and make a new friend! Please know how much we appreciate all of the support and referrals that have come through your continued support of our program and mission, "Better Tomorrows Begin Today" at North Valley Anger Management Consultants (NVAMC). Please RSVP to brad@nvamc.com Warmest regards, North Valley Anger Management Consultants 10550 Sepulveda Blvd Suite # 116 Mission Hills, CA 91345

Good Self Care Reduces Anger

Good Self Care Reduces Angry Outbursts Self-care is a critical part of overall good health, but it is also a key component in managing our emotions. When self-care is neglected, one of the first warning signs is increased irritability and anger towards family and friends. In fact, successfully managing angry outbursts often depends on how well we manage our day to day responsibilities. Good self-care means good stress/anger management. Consequently, balance in all areas of day to day life is often the key. Below is a self-care plan template published by Social Tech.Com. Notice the three areas of focus are the mind, body, and spirit. These represent the three domains of life (work/home/relationships). To achieve a healthy balance, equal attention and nurturing must be given to all three areas. Too much stress, or too much time devoted to any one area can cause increased stress and lead to anger, irritability and outbursts. For more information regarding anger management, stress management, and self-care please feel free to visit our website at www.nvamc.com or call 1-888-992-6479.

Lighting The Way For Others

At the Seattle Special Olympics, nine contestants, all with physical or mental challenges, assembled at the starting line for the 100 meter dash. When the starting gun sounded they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with a relish to run the race till the finish and win. All, that is, except one little boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple times, and began to cry. The other eight contestants heard the boy cry. The other contestants slowed down and looked back. Then they all turned around and went back......every single one of them. One girl with Downs Syndrome bent down and kissed the little boy and said, "this will make it better." Then all nine linked arms and walked together to the finish line. Everyone in the stadium stood up and cheered for several minutes. People who were there are still telling the story. Why? Because deep down we know this one thing: What matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves. What matters in this life is helping others win, even if it means slowing down and changing our course. If you pass this on, we may be able to change our hearts as well as someone else's. Remember, "A candle looses nothing by lighting another candle." E. Pasztor.