Coping With Holiday Stress

What Do The Holidays&Stress Have in Common?   

Interestingly enough, it is anger. Anger, which is a secondary emotion, is a way

of protecting oneself from the stress and pain that is often associated with the Holiday Season.      So, in interest of good self care, during the Holidays it is even more important to remember to take time each day to take a deep breath, stop, and enjoy the moment.  Read something, talk to a friend, listen to music, something you truly enjoy to re-charge briefly will make a dramatic difference in your day.
The hassles of everyday life these days can cause a lot of stress at work and home, and even more so during the Holiday Season.  Think about stress as a continuum with really low stress equaling boredom, but the healthy amount of stress allows most people to function in a state of optimal cognitive efficiency.  That correct amount of stress provides you with energy & motivation to accomplish a goal or task.  However a high levels stress can trigger ANXIETY or ANGER with the “fight, flight, or freeze” response of neurochemicals.
Stress is in the most basic sense a mismatch between the demands in our lives and the resources we have to handle with those demands.  Our perception of situations and demands we face varies significantly from person to person, so it is important to remember that it is the way we perceive and respond that is important.  Notice I used the word respond not react, in stressful situations especially, pause, think then respond.  As much as possible avoid reacting. 
Stress Management is one of the main cornerstones of a solid Emotional Intelligence / Anger Management Program.  That is one of the core domains in our evidence-based, skill-building approach that has been helping individuals, couples, and teens get such great results.  Developing a deeper understanding and practicing the skills of Emotional Intelligence, Enhanced Communication, and Stress Management will help you regain control of yourself and your Anger.  Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is a relatively new field of study but over the last two decades there has been extensive research. 

At North Valley Anger Management Consultants, we have a program that will be customized to meet your individual needs and help you achieve your goals. For a free consultation, call us today at 1-888-992-6479 or 1-818-570-2424 or check us out on the web at http://www.nvamc.com/

Happy Holidays from Everyone at North valley Anger Management Consultants

Emotional Intelligence & Anger

Emotional Intelligence & Anger

According to Wikipedia, "the earliest roots of emotional intelligence (EQ) can be traced to Darwin's work on the importance of emotional expression for survival and second adaptation. In the 1900s, even though traditional definitions of intelligence emphasized cognitive aspects such as memory and problem-solving, several influential researchers in the intelligence field of study had begun to recognize the importance of the non-cognitive aspects. For instance, as early as 1920, E.L. Thorndike used the term social intelligence to describe the skill of understanding and managing other people.

Similarly, in 1940 David Wechsler described the influence of non-intellective factors on intelligent behavior, and further argued that our models of intelligence would not be complete until we can adequately describe these factors. In 1983, Howard Gardner'sFrames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences introduced the idea of multiple intelligences which included both interpersonal intelligence (the capacity to understand the intentions, motivations and desires of other people) and intrapersonal intelligence (the capacity to understand oneself, to appreciate one's feelings, fears and motivations). In Gardner's view, traditional types of intelligence, such as IQ, fail to fully explain cognitive ability. Thus, even though the names given to the concept varied, there was a common belief that traditional definitions of intelligence are lacking in ability to fully explain performance outcomes."

Anger is a primitive emotion that all human beings experience. However, it is important to note that anger can also have a very disruptive effect on one's emotional intelligence (EQ). One technique that may be of  assistance with re-empowering the intelligence aspect of one's psyche is anger management. Through the use of an evidenced based anger management program, students are taught to utilize thought (intelligence) to circumvent feelings (emotion) from negatively influencing actions. Although anger is hard wired into the reptillian brain, it does not have to over ride emotional intelligence (EQ). To reclaim control and increase your EQ, consider employing thought stopping, relaxation techniques, as well as increasing verbal expression all of which have become components of successful anger management programs.

For more information about anger management and it's ability to assit individuals with increasing their emotional intelligence visit www.nvamc.com or call 888-892-6479 today.

Road Rage Experiences?

If you live in any metropolitan or suburban area in the county, with congested freeways I am sure you have had an experience with road rage.
What is that brings about Road Rage?  The emotions of stress, frustration, and anger well up and people do risky, even dangerous things, they would not do otherwise.  Here in the Sacramento Area we have busy congested freeways and surface streets that often create such a storm of emotions (that they may not even be aware of) that behind the wheel they change into a different person just to save a little time.  This is one of the more common ways people act out in anger, a study conducted by the Automobile Association in 1995 found that 90% of drivers had experienced road rage incidents, and 60% of drivers admitted to losing their tempers.  In this study they found:

• Aggressive tailgating (62 percent) was the most common form of “road rage,” followed by headlight flashing (59 percent), obscene gestures (48 percent), deliberately obstructing other vehicles (21 percent) and verbal abuse (16 percent). One percent of drivers claim to have been physically assaulted by other motorists.

What underlies Road Rage or Aggressive driving is pent up stress, frustration, and anger.  Perhaps for one person it was a bad day at work, or for another person an argument with a co-worker.  Our mood and our ability to manage our stress is often at the core of the problem.  For some clients we see this has become a chronic habit because the constant percevied pressures, deadlines, and irritation of their commute.  For many individuals, this is only one of the areas of their life where stress and anger are affecting them.  Often these same clients in our office describe communication problems at work or at home, arguments that seemed to stem from small issues become episodes wherein they lose their cool and say things they later wish they could take back.  I had a client the other day expressing deep frustration at the late night arguments he was having with his wife.  These initial miscommunications seemed to boil into long protracted arguments that continuously left them both tired and exhausted without truly resolving anything.
The good news is that if you or someone you care about is struggling with these issues, something can be done.  Stress and Anger are a part of everyday life, but they can be controlled, managed , and preventive strategies can be used to avoid allowing anger to control your life.  We at North Valley Anger Management Consultants take an evidence-based, skill-building approach to working with clients.  As Certified Anger Management Specialists, we utilize trusted curriculum that is customized to each clients needs based upon a research-based assessment that determines core areas of strength and weakness among domains such as: Stress Management, Empathy, Communication Styles/Skills (like assertion, aggression, and deference), and Emotional Intelligence.  This process yields great results for clients that are ready to make a change in their lives.
If you or someone you love is ready to make a change call us today at 1-888-992-6479 or visit us on the web at www.nvamc.com

How Do You Know It Is Time for Anger Management?

When is it Time for Anger Management?

If you, or someone you care about:

• Have late night arguments with a spouse or partner, and wind up saying very hurtful things, they wish they could take back in the morning
• Seem to be able to contain negative feelings most all of the time, but occasionally lose it and let certain people have it
• Does not respond back when people say things or do things that make me angry, but later think about a lot of great ways they should have responded to them
• Struggle to go to sleep at night because of things that really bothered and upset them during the day
• Find it difficult to forgive people when they have been wronged
  

If you are asking this question, you are among a growing number of proactive people that are seeking preventive help.  In fact, this trend is been steadily increasing over the last few years and now represents over 60-65% of clients seeking Anger Management nationwide.  In our practice in Mission Hills, we see this same trend as more people become aware of what modern, evidence-based Anger Management Programs have to offer them in terms of skills in the areas of Emotional Intelligence, Stress Management, and Practical Communication Tools.
We see people everyday coming into our office from all walks of life because ANGER IS THE GREAT EQUALIZER in society.  It is a basic human emotion that we all have.  The key is not to suppress or ignore it, but to learn skills to manage, contain, and prevent ourselves from acting or speaking inappropriately.  The good news is that these skills of Emotional Intelligence can be learned and developed.  In addition, Emotional Intelligence (commonly called EQ) is more closely correlated with success in relationships and in careers than a person’s Intelligence Quotient (or IQ).  We utilize an evidence-based, skill-building curriculum to accelerate each individual’s EQ learning curve across key domains like interpersonal assertion, empathy, stress management, interpersonal aggression, and interpersonal deference.  Most clients that come to us see great results in 12 to 16 sessions.  For more information, or for a confidential appointment, please call (888) 992-6479 or check us out on the web at www.nvamc.com.