According to Fox News, Baltimore Ravens player Ray Rice publicly apologized to his wife on Monday, 9/8/14, and said she can "do no wrong," just months after he allegedly struck his then-fiancee and was caught on video dragging her from an Atlantic City elevator. It was the first time the running back answered questions about the Feb. 15 incident, which earned him a two-game suspension from the NFL. "What happened that night is something that never should have happened," Rice, 27, said. He called the violent incident his "lowest low" and expressed concern that his 2-year-old daughter with wife Janay Palmer would one day learn about her dad's mistake on Google. "It hurts because I can't go out there and play football, but it hurts more because I have to be a father and explain what happened to my daughter," he said. Rice declined to say what triggered the incident, saying he just wants to move forward with his family. "My actions that night were totally inexcusable," he said. Rice called his wife an "angel" and said he let her, her parents, his teammates and the entire Baltimore community down. He also brought up his mother. "I know that's not who I am as a man," Rice said. "That's not who my mom raised me to be. If anyone knows me they know I was raised by a single parent and that was my mother." He also said that "when the time is right," he and Palmer want to help other couples affected by domestic abuse. Rice called the violent fight a "one-time incident." Although Rice was arrested following the altercation, in which he allegedly struck Palmer and has been accepted into a diversion program concern remains regarding the example and influence set by such high profile public figures to the public and most especially to impressionable youth. Apologies aside, true repentance can only be demonstrated by Rice fulfilling his commitment to his family and to the youth of this great nation who look up to Rice as a role model. I am certain Mr. Rice does not want his daughter to believe hitting women is what angry men do, thus growing up to marry an abuser is simply the lot of women. If you, or someone you love, is in a domestic violence relationship, help is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. For further information, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit www.thehotline.org. If you or someone you love is in imminent danger please dial 911 from any telephone immediately. The Associated Press contributed to this report

Why Parents Hit Their Children: Stopping The Cycle of Child Abuse

“The sins of the father shall be visited upon the son” a very powerful and well known biblical

reference, from the book of Ezekiel, regarding the raising of one’s family to be righteous. In fact, when we consider the implications involved in parenting and raising a family, no truer words have ever been spoken, but not for the reasons one might think. Biblically, the inference of sinfulness is generally interpreted as impiety, and is avoided via the father teaching a familial pattern of pious worship.

So how does this infamous quote from scripture apply to the modern family and why is it relevant?  This profound and insightful verse is speaking to the multi-generational system of learned behavior that exists within a family. The question then becomes, how do people learn? Cultural Anthropology suggests the most powerful form of learning is observational. Therefore, we learn what we live, which is to say that which we see every day determines how we behave with one another other.

Consequently, if a parent physically disciplines their children then so too will the children grow to hit their children when they misbehave. It follows then, that should the parent hit their partner in the presence of the child, then the child learns frustration is relieved and arguments are settled through physical force. In short, according to Jon Piper, “the sins of the fathers are punished in the children through becoming the sins of the children,” which is to say, through observation and experience children learn what they live.  

Fortunately, through a combination of increased awareness and psycho-education in the areas of parenting, anger management, stress management and domestic violence programs it is more than possible to stop the multi-generational cycle of child abuse. However, the first step is increasing awareness. For purposes of clarity, please note that in the state of California the only legal form of physical punishment a parent may use to correct a transgression is for the parent to spank their child one time with an open hand upon the child’s posterior. In addition, California further defines child abuse as any form of physical contact that leaves a mark including spanking should the spanking leave any marks upon the child’s posterior. If you, or someone you love, is a victim of child abuse as stated above, intimate partner violence, or other form of emotional or mental abuse including neglect help is available 24-7 by calling 211, 1-800-540-4000, or 911. Remember, only through awareness and advocacy will change occur. Being a child doesn’t have to hurt!

For more information or resources about parenting, anger management, or domestic violence batterers’ information programs please visit www.nvamc.com. For information about child abuse resources or support please visit www.dcfs.lacounty.gov .

References:

www.allsufficentgrace.org

www.dcfs.lacounty.gov

www.healthycity.org

www.kingjamesbibleonline.org

www.nvamc.com