New Year's Resolutions That Really Work: Anger Management!

For many of us, although 2015 is officially over, the emotional clean up process is just beginning. If 2015 was an angry year for you, you are not alone. The good news is 2016 is a brand new opportunity to reclaim emotional control of our life. You may want to consider having anger management as a New Year's resolution if any of the following apply: Have loved ones told you have an anger problem? Has your anger gotten you into legal trouble? Has your significant other, or family, asked you to go to anger management? Have you lost jobs, friends, or relationships because of your anger? If any of this sounds like you, there is hope. Individual or group anger management counseling can help you take back control of your emotional life ultimately leading to a happier and more successful you. Anger management isn't just for executives, athletes, or celebrities anymore! In fact, anger management skills can help you with all of the following: * Increase positive communication skills * Make better choices responding to stress at home and work. * Learn to express anger in more appropriate ways * Learn coping and relaxation skills * Learn replacement behaviors to use when angry At North Valley Anger Management Consultants, we excel in helping people overcome and control anger and reclaim their lives. For more information, call us today for a free 30 minute telephone consultation at 1-888-992-6479, or visit our website at www.nvamc.com

According to Fox News, Baltimore Ravens player Ray Rice publicly apologized to his wife on Monday, 9/8/14, and said she can "do no wrong," just months after he allegedly struck his then-fiancee and was caught on video dragging her from an Atlantic City elevator. It was the first time the running back answered questions about the Feb. 15 incident, which earned him a two-game suspension from the NFL. "What happened that night is something that never should have happened," Rice, 27, said. He called the violent incident his "lowest low" and expressed concern that his 2-year-old daughter with wife Janay Palmer would one day learn about her dad's mistake on Google. "It hurts because I can't go out there and play football, but it hurts more because I have to be a father and explain what happened to my daughter," he said. Rice declined to say what triggered the incident, saying he just wants to move forward with his family. "My actions that night were totally inexcusable," he said. Rice called his wife an "angel" and said he let her, her parents, his teammates and the entire Baltimore community down. He also brought up his mother. "I know that's not who I am as a man," Rice said. "That's not who my mom raised me to be. If anyone knows me they know I was raised by a single parent and that was my mother." He also said that "when the time is right," he and Palmer want to help other couples affected by domestic abuse. Rice called the violent fight a "one-time incident." Although Rice was arrested following the altercation, in which he allegedly struck Palmer and has been accepted into a diversion program concern remains regarding the example and influence set by such high profile public figures to the public and most especially to impressionable youth. Apologies aside, true repentance can only be demonstrated by Rice fulfilling his commitment to his family and to the youth of this great nation who look up to Rice as a role model. I am certain Mr. Rice does not want his daughter to believe hitting women is what angry men do, thus growing up to marry an abuser is simply the lot of women. If you, or someone you love, is in a domestic violence relationship, help is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. For further information, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit www.thehotline.org. If you or someone you love is in imminent danger please dial 911 from any telephone immediately. The Associated Press contributed to this report

Good Self Care Reduces Anger

Good Self Care Reduces Angry Outbursts Self-care is a critical part of overall good health, but it is also a key component in managing our emotions. When self-care is neglected, one of the first warning signs is increased irritability and anger towards family and friends. In fact, successfully managing angry outbursts often depends on how well we manage our day to day responsibilities. Good self-care means good stress/anger management. Consequently, balance in all areas of day to day life is often the key. Below is a self-care plan template published by Social Tech.Com. Notice the three areas of focus are the mind, body, and spirit. These represent the three domains of life (work/home/relationships). To achieve a healthy balance, equal attention and nurturing must be given to all three areas. Too much stress, or too much time devoted to any one area can cause increased stress and lead to anger, irritability and outbursts. For more information regarding anger management, stress management, and self-care please feel free to visit our website at www.nvamc.com or call 1-888-992-6479.

Is It Normal To Feel Angry?

Is anger normal? Absolutely! Everyone feels angry. It’s what we do with the feeling of anger that matters. Per George Anderson, LCSW, anger is a normal human emotion. In fact, anger is one of the first indications that a person may feel emotionally injured. It is important to note that anger is a secondary emotion that exists to protect people from feeling the more vulnerable emotions such as hurt, loss, grief, fear, offended, attacked, frightened, lonely or sad. This is not an uncommon response, often initiated by our psyche during times of stress in response to the more sensitive feelings.

Aside from emotional protection, anger can instill motivation and energy that often produce positive outcomes. Some examples of the positive uses of anger were observed during Martin Luther King’s struggles to end discrimination in America, and Nelson Mandela whose struggle against South Africa mobilized most of the world against his adversaries, and Rosa Parks whose anger was the source of the Montgomery Bus Boycott. Another example of a positive outcome as a result of anger is that of Mahatma Gandhi, whose anger and resulting passive resistance stance against England occurred in direct response to Britain’s domination of India.
However, anger also has very negative connotations, and when out of control is often associated with unhealthy and abusive aspects of the human condition. Anger maybe considered a problem when it is too intense, occurs too frequently, is harmful to self or others, lasts too long or leads to aggression. Unfortunately, as the economy continues to struggle and the cost of living remains sky high; incidents of unhealthy anger and aggression have increased ten fold worldwide. This increase is visible across all sectors of our society including government, politics, professional sports, business, education, and medicine.
If you or someone you love is experiencing unhealthy levels of anger or aggression, their emotional intelligence may no longer be effectively managed at the individual or family level, and may require voluntary and mandated training in stress management, anger management, communication and impulse control.

For more information about managing stressful emotions, please visit our website at www.nvamc.com, or call us at 1-888-992-6479. 

Explosive Rage In Teenage Boys At Alarming Rate

Explosive Rage In Teenage Boys At Alarming Rate

In an alarmingly upward trend, teenage boys are increasingly acting out in horrific acts of violent and explosive rage. Per The Guardian, one such tragic event occurred on 24 May 2013, at which time a 15 year old boy allegedly killed his adopted brothers (http://guardianlv.com/2013/05/west-point-utah-15-year-old-boy-allegedly-kills-adopted-brothers-10-and-4/), in a small town, in West Point, Utah.  Similarly, per The LA Times, in January 2013, a 15 year old boy in New Mexico confessed to having killed his mother, father, and three small siblings (http://articl es.latimes.com/2013/jan/21/nation/la-na-nn-albuquerque-griego-shooting-20130121). Regrettably, these are not isolated incidents. In direct response to this growing trend in teen violence, enlightened parents are seeking anger management education classes for their sons. Further, as part of a proactive trend toward emotional intelligence training, anger management classes are replacing punishment for teenage boys whose aggressive anger is alarming both their parents and school personnel. The ongoing negative economic trend has impacted the mood and stress levels of adults, children, and adolescents nationwide. Anger, stress, and aggressive behavior are some of the consequences associated with dramatic changes in socio-economic status. To punish an angry teen often leads to further negative alterations in his or her behavior. In contrast, anger management classes, which are focused on increasing an individual’s emotional intelligence by teaching skills in self-awareness, self-control, social awareness and relationships, are more likely to result in skill enhancement in the pivotal areas mentioned above. In fact, due to the fragile ego of teens, psychotherapy is often viewed as extremely threatening and as such generally produces poorer outcomes. Therefore, emotional intelligence for skill enhancement, in managing anger and stress, delivered in a group setting, is a far more popular intervention with teenage boys and is more likely to produce positive outcomes.

For further information regarding anger management education for teenage boys displaying disruptive, or anti-social behavior, please visit our website at www.nvamc.mobi or call 1-888-992-6479. 

Anger Management Is Part of Self Care 101

In a recent mental health report, from the Office of the U.S. Surgeon General (U.S.Public Health Service), anger management classes are recommended as part of acomprehensive stress reduction program. The Surgeon General, in a clarion call for health promotion initiatives, underscores the importance of psycho educational interventions at a community level for a range of problems including parenting, stress management, and anger management classes. Because anger management is a broad spectrum intervention, it is notable for its wide applicability to a variety of constituencies for both primary and secondary stress prevention. For example, anger management techniques are needed desperately by doctors, teachers, probation officers, correctional staff, counselors, community leaders and parents. Ease of access for anger management services is readily available by utilizing programs at various community locations, such as schools, social service organizations, churches, libraries, and provide convenient venues for workshops and classes.

A recent study at John Hopkins University found that most people who have experienced heart attacks or strokes had problems managing anger. Thus unhealthy anger has serious health implications and needs to be addressed proactively. Good health requires self-care, and participation in a psycho educational program may be an important aspect in preventive care.

For more information about the link between stress and preventive health care, please visit the United States Office of health and human services at www.hhs.gov  . For information about anger management classes please or visit our website at www.nvamc.com , or call us today at 1-888-992-6479.

Edward Furlong & Milton Bradley Demonstrate The Need For Anger Management

Edward Furlong & Milton Bradley Demonstrate the Need for Anger Management

Anger is one of the most misunderstood and overused of human emotions. Anger is not a planned action – it’s a reaction to an inner emotion. Anger is energy. It serves a purpose by giving people the drive and determination to cope with the often difficult situations we find ourselves in. Anger helps discharge tension. If handled well, anger can help resolve conflict and improve relationships with others. Anger is an easy emotion to show; everyone gets angry.

However, what everyone doesn’t do is explode with public displays of person-directed anger in their relationships, custody disputes, or sporting events. While anger is a normal human emotion, the displays of verbal aggression and anger recently demonstrated by Furlong represents unhealthy anger, which destroys interpersonal relationships as well as the reputation of the perpetrator.

There are six situations in which anger is unacceptable in a civil society:

1). When it is too intense.

2). When it occurs too frequently.

3). When it lasts too long.

4). When it leads to person-directed aggression or violence.

5). When it destroys interpersonal relationships.

6). When it has health implications.

For help dealing with unhealthy levels of anger or rage, please visit our website or call us for a free  consultation.

North Valley Anger Management Consultants

www.nvamc.com

1-888-992-6479

Causes & Cures For Anger

Anger is a secondary emotion that people unconsciously use to protect or deflect a wide variety of uncomfortable feelings away from themselves and possibly onto other people. Many times anger stems from low self-esteem, or other feelings of inadequacy. What then is self-esteem and why is it important? How can we recognize it and what can we do to increase it? While much of a person’s self-esteem is developed throughout their childhood and is rooted in their family of origin, we can always make the conscious effort to alter our behaviors and learn to increase our sense of purpose, accomplishment, and acceptance later in life. This is typically a slow process and it isn’t always easy.

Here are some ways to catch these negative patterns as they happen, and to begin changing them.

•Get sober. Get help through 12-step groups to stop self-destructive behaviors. Addictions make learning harder and can bring down your mood.

 •Practice self-care. Make new positive lifestyle choices.
 •Identify triggers to low self-esteem. Don’t personalize negative or stressful events (e.g., criticism). If you do a self-defeating action usually follows.
 •Stop and take notice. Pay attention to the familiarity of the impulse. We tend to overreact in the same way to the same things over and over again.
•Acknowledge reaction. Take note of how you are reacting. Then actively choose to change it rather than just passively noticing it.
 • Choose response. Hold in self-defeating impulses and instead act in a positive, self, caring and functional way.
 ◦Experience feelings. “Feel” feelings in your body and identify your needs. When we do not respect our feelings, we are left to rely on what others want and believe.

 ◦Detachment. End all abuse; say “no” to misrepresentations and assumptions. By maintaining personal boundaries, we discourage abuse by others and assert our separateness.

◦Assertion. Voice what you see, feel, and want by making “I” statements. By expressing our thoughts, feelings, and desires in a direct and honest manner, we show that we are in charge of our lives.

◦Receptivity. End self-absorption; listen to others’ words and meanings to restate them. In this way, we act with awareness of our contribution to events as well as empathize with the needs of others.
For more information about coping with anger through increasing self esteem, please visit our website at www.nvamc.com, or call us at 1-888-992-6479. Remember, "we are not responsible for being down, but we are responsible for getting up" (Jessie Jackson).

Coping With Anger & Stress: When to Get Help

Stress and anger often go hand in hand. For many of us, financial issues are the greatest cause of stress. Am I going to have enough hours this month? What if I get sick? The pressure to make enough to have a place to live and cover all the bills can wear us down, adding additional tension to already overwhelmed lives .  It is during these times of stress and emotional strife, that we are the most prone to a dangerous level of anger. We might begin, on an unconscious level, to look for any reason to yell, or start a fight, in order to relieve some of the pressure. The more stressed you become, the more the smallest things can set you off.  You know, common everyday things like someone changing lanes without signaling,or  maybe your spouse or child hasn't taken out that trash yet. Whatever the case, it is up to us to be aware and recognize when we feel ourselves starting down overload road and getting angry about things that normally wouldn't matter. It is up to us to be responsible, and to look for appropriate ways of releasing our stress and anger before it harms ourselves or loved ones. 


There are many different ways to calm down and relax. If any of these symptoms of system overload sounds like you or someone you love, I encourage you to find what works for you, or your loved one to de-stress and reclaim  a calmer quality of life.  

For more information about anger management, and a free consultation please visit our website at www.nvamc.com, or call 1-888-992-6479 today.       

Anger Management for Parents

Today's parents are dealing with more day to day frustration raising their children than ever before. In the majority of homes, parents are not only working, attempting to provide after school activities via sports programs, scouting, etc, but are also trying to maintain relationships with significant others, family, friends, religious affiliations, etc. Many of these homes are single parent households, which adds even more stress to the equation. Factor in those parents who are also trying to go to school in addition to everything else, in an attempt to improve there ability to earn a livable wage, and the stress multiplies expotentialy. Throw a defiant teen, or angry young one acting out due to divorce or other concerns, into the mix and you have a pressure cooker ready to blow at any moment. So how can mom&dad; diffuse their frustration and cope with the stress of parenting children in the twenty-first century? Are we really talking about anger management for parents? The answer is yes. In fact, anger management techniques are appropriate for everyone, everywhere, in all walks of life and parents are no exception. Mom&dad are people too, and are dealing with even more stress than those without children and as such have even greater need of anger management skills to cope with the demands of modern life. The following anger management techniques are recommended as stress management tools for parents to use to prevent nuclear implosion : 
1) Lean to identify the physical signs of rising anger such as tightening of the stomach, neck, shoulders, clenched fists, gritting of teeth etc.

2) When the above signs are identified, count backwards to refocus your thoughts.

3) Give yourself a time out and walk and disengage from the source of stress while counting backwards.

4) Utilize relaxation techniques such as slow deep breathing, guided imagery, isometric excersises, stretching.

5) Give yourself fifteen minutes of unscheduled time a day just for you.
At North Valley Anger Management Consultants, we understand the unrelenting demands of being a parent in the twent-first century and are available to help. For a additional information, visit our website at www.nvamc.com or call us at 1-888-992-6479.


 

The Heavy Cost of Anger: A Challenge & Social Experiment

Human beings get angry for various reasons, as a way of expressing and relieving emotion. One of the most common forms of anger is frustration. Anger, in and of its self, can be a normal, healthy emotion. In fact, everyone gets angry from time to time, most especially when that anger is frustration based. However, when the amount of frustration in a person life becomes so high that they are angry more often than not, or the anger is being expressed in unhealthy ways that are interfering in your quality of life, then it maybe time to consider getting help.

As it is now the dawn of 2012, I would like to issue a challenge; a social experiment if you will, and ask that you look back over the past year at how many times you, or a loved one, became angry, who was involved, and how you/they expressed the anger. Did you or a loved one feel better or worse after becoming angry? Was anyone hurt emotionally, physically, etc? Did you/they discover that the number of times/days they were angry was equal to, or greater than, the amount of time spent not being angry? Has the anger begun to interfer with daily living? Has your/their anger gotten in the way of things that used to be pleasureable? If it is a loved one, have you noticed you are now avoiding spending time with them? Has the anger become scary? Has the anger become so great that there is now a cost for that anger such as loosing a job or relationship?

 If you have answered yes to any of these questions, I urge you to consider consulting with a professional. Anger of the degree described above is a heavy load to carry, and comes at a high cost to everyone involved. The good news is, anger doesn't have to consume anyones life. At North Valley Anger Management Consultants, we offer individual and group anger management classes that address the heavy cost of anger, through an evidenced based program that is proven to work. Don't let anger ruin one more day in your life, or the life of a loved one. At North Valley Anger Management Consultants,in Mission Hills, CA., we understand the heavy cost of anger and are available to help. Call us today for a free consultation, at 888-992-6479, or visit our website at www.nvamc.com.