Anger & Stress: Is There A Connection?

Modern life is full of demands. In today's world, multi-tasking is a necessary skill set, not a choice. There is no escape. In fact, the rapid pace of daily life, in the 21st century, is often referred to as "Moving at the speed of business". This translates into stress at the 'Nth' degree. So what does an average day is this ever changing, constantly moving, life on the go look like? Is it really overwhelming, or have people forgotten how to work hard? On the contrary, in today's modern age, many people work and go to school, while others work and try to raise a family, and still others work, go to school, and raise families. Throw in the daily commute, deadlines, sports for the kids, family obligations, and we can clearly see how the stress just keeps mounting. So what happens when our stress level is never relieved? For most people, this results in self neglect, anger, and resentment. Clearly, we have to give up something to meet the demands of daily life. Because the time has to come from somewhere, for many people this means skipping meals or eating fast food, some days there isn't even time to shower let alone style hair or keep up nails, and certainly no time for the gym. As the pressure continues to build, fueled by months and years of self denial, the hamster wheel of modern life grows into a volcano waiting to erupt fed by a steady diet of stress, repressed anger, and resentment which then manifests as fighting with family, partners, yelling at the kids, and possible health concerns. In more extreme cases, this type of unrelenting stress can result in marital discord, depression, anxiety, and family conflict. According to the Mayo Clinic, physical symptoms correlated with stress levels of this caliber often include high blood pressure, anxiety, weight gain/loss, frequent illness, and visible signs of poor self care (https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&rlz=1C1RNBN_enUS464US485&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#). In short, the correlation between stress and anger is clear and something must and will give. The question is, at what cost? Will it be physical health, mental health, or family stability? In order to offset the impact of stress associated with modern life, an intervention strategy designed to maximize time while offering maximum results is needed. Of the various stress reducing supports available, the following techniques appear to offer the most benefit in the least amount to time: 1) Creating balance - Making you the priority: a) Work with partner/family to create equal distribution of duties b) Restructure schedules to afford 1 hour a day of uninterrupted personal time c) Work with family/friends to create parenting co-op to afford one or two date nights a month 2) Stress Reduction applications for smart phones: a) Breath to Relax (free) b) Anxiety Self Help (free) c) Cleveland Clinic Stress Meditations ($0.99) d) Stress Check ($1.99) e) Pocket Yoga ($2.99) 3) Additional smart phone resources for stress or crisis management: a) http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/09/20/top-10-free-mental-health-apps/ b) http://www.argonautsoftware.com/articles/smartphone-apps-for-managing-stress.html Although there is no cure for modern life, there are ways to manage and/or reduce day to day stress. Balance is the key, and with careful planning quality of life is truly achievable. The key, is to recognize the signs and symptoms of stress overload before they hit critical mass. If you, or a loved one, have begun to demonstrate the following clinical signs or symptoms of stress, professional intervention is strongly suggested: 1) Frequent headaches, jaw clenching or pain, teeth gritting/grinding 2) Neck ache, back pain, muscle spasms 3) Light headedness, faintness, dizziness, ringing in the ears or popping 4 Irritable, easily annoyed, angry 5) Frequent colds, infections, herpes sores, rashes, itching, hives, “goose bumps”, unexplained or frequent “allergy” attacks 6) Heartburn, stomach pain, nausea 7) Weight gain or loss of more than 5 pounds 8) Diminished or lack of sexual desire For further information, or to consult regarding symptoms or concerns, please contact your local healthcare or mental health professional, or visit the American Stress Institute online at www.stress.org

Tips For Surviving The Holidays: Recognizing & Overcoming The Holiday Blues

It happens every year. Shortly after Halloween, the Holiday season begins. It starts with the retail ads, picks up speed in the grocery stores, and often consumes the work place and community, then before you know it the tidal wave of “good cheer” has taken over everyday life. Except, many people don’t feel very cheerful. In fact, at times, many people find themselves simultaneously dreading and resenting the Holidays. Indeed, some may even find themselves identifying with Ebeneezer Scrooge, in that they are inexplicably feeling angry, bitter, sad, resentful, overwhelmed, lonely, and disconnected. However, if you or someone you love believe have identified many, if not all, of the symptoms of “Scrooge-itis” this does not mean you secretly dislike children, nor that you will suddenly become miserly, greedy, or mean. What these symptoms may mean is that you or a loved one may be struggling with unresolved Grief and Loss, Traumatic Grief, Trauma, Abandonment issues, or concerns otherwise deemed “The Holiday Blues.” The good news is you, or your loved one, is not ALONE! Thousands of people feel the exact same way each and every year. The importance of recognizing the signs and symptoms associated with “The Holiday Blues” and seeking professional help is the key to successfully coping with the holiday season. If you, or a loved one, are experiencing several or more of the following symptoms seek immediate assistance from a mental health professional in your area, or call the National Crisis Hotline 24 hours a day at 1-800-273-8255 www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org: 1) Sadness 2) Tearfulness 3) Hopelessness 4) Isolating 5) Unexplained loss of Interest in previously enjoyed hobbies or activities 6) Unexplained loss of appetite 7) Unexplained increase in appetite 8) Unexplained anger/irritability 9) Disrupted Sleep 10) Inability to focus 11) Increased use of alcohol 12) Suicidal Ideation 13) Homicidal Ideation 14) Poor hygiene/lack of desire to bath/brush teeth 15) Increased absences at work or school For more information, or referrals, regarding coping with the Holiday Blues help is just a phone call away. Call 211, 1-800-854-7771 or visit www.healthycity.org or www.namila.org/crisis-hotlines-hospitals For life threatening emergencies or immediate assistance call 911. Remember, you are not alone! Happy Holidays from All of Us at North Valley Anger Management Consultants! For more information about our anger, stress, and domestic violence programs call 1-888-992-6479 or visit www.nvamc.com.

Good Self Care Reduces Anger

Good Self Care Reduces Angry Outbursts Self-care is a critical part of overall good health, but it is also a key component in managing our emotions. When self-care is neglected, one of the first warning signs is increased irritability and anger towards family and friends. In fact, successfully managing angry outbursts often depends on how well we manage our day to day responsibilities. Good self-care means good stress/anger management. Consequently, balance in all areas of day to day life is often the key. Below is a self-care plan template published by Social Tech.Com. Notice the three areas of focus are the mind, body, and spirit. These represent the three domains of life (work/home/relationships). To achieve a healthy balance, equal attention and nurturing must be given to all three areas. Too much stress, or too much time devoted to any one area can cause increased stress and lead to anger, irritability and outbursts. For more information regarding anger management, stress management, and self-care please feel free to visit our website at www.nvamc.com or call 1-888-992-6479.

Anger Management Is Part of Self Care 101

In a recent mental health report, from the Office of the U.S. Surgeon General (U.S.Public Health Service), anger management classes are recommended as part of acomprehensive stress reduction program. The Surgeon General, in a clarion call for health promotion initiatives, underscores the importance of psycho educational interventions at a community level for a range of problems including parenting, stress management, and anger management classes. Because anger management is a broad spectrum intervention, it is notable for its wide applicability to a variety of constituencies for both primary and secondary stress prevention. For example, anger management techniques are needed desperately by doctors, teachers, probation officers, correctional staff, counselors, community leaders and parents. Ease of access for anger management services is readily available by utilizing programs at various community locations, such as schools, social service organizations, churches, libraries, and provide convenient venues for workshops and classes.

A recent study at John Hopkins University found that most people who have experienced heart attacks or strokes had problems managing anger. Thus unhealthy anger has serious health implications and needs to be addressed proactively. Good health requires self-care, and participation in a psycho educational program may be an important aspect in preventive care.

For more information about the link between stress and preventive health care, please visit the United States Office of health and human services at www.hhs.gov  . For information about anger management classes please or visit our website at www.nvamc.com , or call us today at 1-888-992-6479.

Causes & Cures For Anger

Anger is a secondary emotion that people unconsciously use to protect or deflect a wide variety of uncomfortable feelings away from themselves and possibly onto other people. Many times anger stems from low self-esteem, or other feelings of inadequacy. What then is self-esteem and why is it important? How can we recognize it and what can we do to increase it? While much of a person’s self-esteem is developed throughout their childhood and is rooted in their family of origin, we can always make the conscious effort to alter our behaviors and learn to increase our sense of purpose, accomplishment, and acceptance later in life. This is typically a slow process and it isn’t always easy.

Here are some ways to catch these negative patterns as they happen, and to begin changing them.

•Get sober. Get help through 12-step groups to stop self-destructive behaviors. Addictions make learning harder and can bring down your mood.

 •Practice self-care. Make new positive lifestyle choices.
 •Identify triggers to low self-esteem. Don’t personalize negative or stressful events (e.g., criticism). If you do a self-defeating action usually follows.
 •Stop and take notice. Pay attention to the familiarity of the impulse. We tend to overreact in the same way to the same things over and over again.
•Acknowledge reaction. Take note of how you are reacting. Then actively choose to change it rather than just passively noticing it.
 • Choose response. Hold in self-defeating impulses and instead act in a positive, self, caring and functional way.
 ◦Experience feelings. “Feel” feelings in your body and identify your needs. When we do not respect our feelings, we are left to rely on what others want and believe.

 ◦Detachment. End all abuse; say “no” to misrepresentations and assumptions. By maintaining personal boundaries, we discourage abuse by others and assert our separateness.

◦Assertion. Voice what you see, feel, and want by making “I” statements. By expressing our thoughts, feelings, and desires in a direct and honest manner, we show that we are in charge of our lives.

◦Receptivity. End self-absorption; listen to others’ words and meanings to restate them. In this way, we act with awareness of our contribution to events as well as empathize with the needs of others.
For more information about coping with anger through increasing self esteem, please visit our website at www.nvamc.com, or call us at 1-888-992-6479. Remember, "we are not responsible for being down, but we are responsible for getting up" (Jessie Jackson).