When Gambling Becomes A Problem

How do you know if frequent weekends in Vegas have become a gambling addiction? The signs of a gambling problem are often the same as the signs of other addictions. Common signs of a gambling addiction include: • Feeling the need to be secretive about your gambling • Having trouble controlling your gambling habits • Gambling when you cannot afford to do so • Friends and family often expressing concern with your gambling Of course, as with any other addiction, the hallmark sign of a gambling problem is that you feel you cannot stop. Gambling is a diverse activity, so it is not always obvious when someone is addicted to gambling. Contrary to popular belief, the act of gambling is not restricted to slot machines, cards and casinos. Purchasing a lottery ticket, entering a raffle or making a bet with a friend are also forms of gambling. Gambling addiction is associated with many additional challenges, in both the short- and long-term, beyond that of gambling. Consequently, a gambling addiction frequently results in other addictions that serve as coping mechanisms for people who are stressed out by the activity. Many gamblers turn to drugs, alcohol and other activities to alleviate the anxiety brought on by the gambling lifestyle. Even if a gambler never experiences financial ruin as a result of the lifestyle, they may struggle with drug and alcohol addiction for the rest of their life after self-medicating to deal with the stress.

Gambling addiction can occur when a person feels that they are in financial ruin and can only solve their problems by gambling what little they have in an attempt to win a large sum of money. Unfortunately, this almost always leads to a cycle in which the gambler feels they must win back their losses. Because gambling addiction is often associated with depression and anger, quitting gambling is no easy feat, but it can be done with the help of a solid support group and treatment program. It can be difficult to get started on the path to recovery without the assistance of professionals who have helped people through the process before. Supportive friends and family are vital to a full recovery, but they might not know how best to help you. If any of this sounds familiar, you, or someone you love, may be struggling with a gambling addiction. In California, help is available for the gambler, and the gambler’s family, with no zero out of pocket expense. For further information, please call 1-800-gambler, or visit the following website www.problemgambling.ca.gov

Tips For Surviving The Holidays: Recognizing & Overcoming The Holiday Blues

It happens every year. Shortly after Halloween, the Holiday season begins. It starts with the retail ads, picks up speed in the grocery stores, and often consumes the work place and community, then before you know it the tidal wave of “good cheer” has taken over everyday life. Except, many people don’t feel very cheerful. In fact, at times, many people find themselves simultaneously dreading and resenting the Holidays. Indeed, some may even find themselves identifying with Ebeneezer Scrooge, in that they are inexplicably feeling angry, bitter, sad, resentful, overwhelmed, lonely, and disconnected. However, if you or someone you love believe have identified many, if not all, of the symptoms of “Scrooge-itis” this does not mean you secretly dislike children, nor that you will suddenly become miserly, greedy, or mean. What these symptoms may mean is that you or a loved one may be struggling with unresolved Grief and Loss, Traumatic Grief, Trauma, Abandonment issues, or concerns otherwise deemed “The Holiday Blues.” The good news is you, or your loved one, is not ALONE! Thousands of people feel the exact same way each and every year. The importance of recognizing the signs and symptoms associated with “The Holiday Blues” and seeking professional help is the key to successfully coping with the holiday season. If you, or a loved one, are experiencing several or more of the following symptoms seek immediate assistance from a mental health professional in your area, or call the National Crisis Hotline 24 hours a day at 1-800-273-8255 www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org: 1) Sadness 2) Tearfulness 3) Hopelessness 4) Isolating 5) Unexplained loss of Interest in previously enjoyed hobbies or activities 6) Unexplained loss of appetite 7) Unexplained increase in appetite 8) Unexplained anger/irritability 9) Disrupted Sleep 10) Inability to focus 11) Increased use of alcohol 12) Suicidal Ideation 13) Homicidal Ideation 14) Poor hygiene/lack of desire to bath/brush teeth 15) Increased absences at work or school For more information, or referrals, regarding coping with the Holiday Blues help is just a phone call away. Call 211, 1-800-854-7771 or visit www.healthycity.org or www.namila.org/crisis-hotlines-hospitals For life threatening emergencies or immediate assistance call 911. Remember, you are not alone! Happy Holidays from All of Us at North Valley Anger Management Consultants! For more information about our anger, stress, and domestic violence programs call 1-888-992-6479 or visit www.nvamc.com.

The Twelve Angry Days of Christmas

The twelve days of Christmas are upon us! As the days grow shorter and the Holiday "to do" list grows longer, emotions often get out of control taking the joy of Christmas with them. Below are twelve tips to support the healthy management of anger, frustration, and other emotions to help keep your family's Christmas experience happy and filled with joy:

On the first day of Christmas: Reduce stress by managing your time carefully and not over-scheduling yourself. Take time for yourself!

On the second day of Christmas:  Adjust your expectations of family members. No, Uncle Bill hasn't changed since last year. Tell yourself that you only have to see her once a year- you can cope with it.

On the third day of Christmas: Limit the amount of time you spend with stressful family members. Remember the "spirit" of the season can be shared just as well with brief quality time.

On the fourth day of Christmas: Work on increasing your forgiveness skills. Let old resentments go. Holding grudges hurts you more than your relatives.

On the fifth day of Christmas: Develop better empathy skills. Try to see the world from the viewpoint of irritating family members and you may be shocked at how your anger dissipates.

On the sixth day of Christmas: Limit the amount of time you spend shopping and going to parties. Too many Holiday rounds only adds necessary expense and stress. Christmas isn't about buying gifts and going to parties. Remember the "spirit" of the season is about sharing love and quality time with family and friends.

On the seventh day of Christmas: Watch carefully the amount of alcohol you consume. Many anger management students confess that excessive drinking definitely contributed to family conflict and aggression.

On the eighth day of Christmas: Celebrating the Holidays doesn't have to be expensive. You can keep Christmas alive and well without going broke. Reconnect with the meaning of Christmas through religious or cultural practices.

On the ninth day of Christmas: When you feel frustrated and your temper starts to rise, try counting to 10 slowly. Time out isn't just for kids! Before saying things you might regret, take a few moments to breathe deeply and count to 10.

On the tenth day of Christmas: When Holiday spirits are flowing and your in the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything by counting to 20 backwards.

On the eleventh day of Christmas: Forgive and forget! Don't allow anger and other negative feelings to get in the way of positive feelings that come with the season. You can do it!

On the twelfth day of Christmas:  Relax, breath and enjoy your family, friends and celebrate the Holiday! If your temper flares, use your relaxation skills. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as, "Tomorrow is Christmas." You can do it!


For more tips on how to deal with angry feelings, Holiday stress, or the angry behavior of others, call us at 1-888-992-6479 or visit our website at www.nvamc.com


Happy Holidays from North Valley Anger Management Consultants!

Anger Management Classes: Sunday Group

Family Stress & Holiday Cheer: A Survival Guide

We often think the Holiday Season is everyone’s  favorite time of year. The weather is cooling. The leaves are falling; the food is getting richer and more decadent. It’s the time of smiling faces, warm cozy fires, hearts full of joy, and families filled with love and togetherness right?
As pretty a picture as the media would try to sell us, we all know the truth. The Holidays are full of family stress, anger, conflict, and pressure. In fact, some of the following stress filled messages may be running through your mind right now. What will we make for dinner? Who is coming over? What is the budget looking like for presents this year? How do I stop myself from getting angry at the in-laws? Where will my family stay? Is there enough space in our house? Will the kids actually let me sleep today? Do I really want to have to talk to my brother, mother in law, cousin, other family members I don't like ?

With all these stresses and pressures a short temper, anger, and cranky snappy responses are bound to arise. All it takes is the smallest thing to set us off during family gatherings, which often leads to poor coping resulting in overeating and excess alcohol consumption. At times, this may seem like the only way to get through the Holiday Season. Admittedly, safely coping with the Christmas Season in a positive and healthy way is not always easy, but it can be done. Often, it is the little things that help the most. The following is a list of helpful tricks to help you cope:

1. Remember to breathe- the Holidays don’t last forever.

2. This too shall pass! Try to keep in mind that even with all the build up, expectations and disappointment that often come with the season, ultimately they are just days, and you can get through them just like you do every other day that has come, or is yet to come.

3. Be aware of your mood and tone of voice, your body language.

4.  It's not all about you! Other people are stressed too. Don't take other peoples moods and behaviors personally.

 5. Please remember that alcohol only adds to the problem, and can be down right dangerous. Keeping the Holiday cheer in check will help keep the anger and stress in check too.

It helps when you realize that everyone else is just as stressed as you are. You are not alone; just smile, relax and try to enjoy what you can. Remember, you are the only one who can keep yourself safe, sober, and under control. For information and assistance coping with holiday stress, please visit our website at www.nvamc.com  or call us toll free at 1-888-992-6479 today.

Happy Holidays from North Valley Anger Management Consultants 

Thanksgiving Happiness and the Holiday Blues

The Thanksgiving Holiday season kicks off a five week period of time that brings back memories of happiness and accomplishment for millions of people. This special day is filled with family traditions, memories, and expectations that some people find difficult, or impossible, to manage. Frequently, our anticipation and excitement turns into feelings of depression, commonly called the holiday blues. Symptoms can include headaches, insomnia, uneasiness, anxiety, sadness, intestinal problems, and unnecessary conflict with family and friends. Part of what happens during the holiday season, in terms of mood changes and anxiety, may occur because of the stressfulness of holiday events, while other aspects of mood change and anxiety may be rooted in unresolved grief and loss. Irregardless, the challenge comes from coping with these feelings in a safe and positive manner. Unfortunately, many people deal with the uncomfortable and often overwhelming feelings by overdrinking, overeating, and overspending. It may be important to note that these feelings of sadness and depression can reach a clinical level during the holiday season. If you, or someone you love, begin to have thoughts of suicide, homicide, or other high risk or self injurious behaviors, please seek professional help immediately, or call the crisis hotline at (714) NEW-HOPE (714) 639-4673. The hotline is available 24 hours a day, seven (7) days a week. The demands of the season are many and varied: shopping, cooking, travel, houseguests, family reunions, office parties and extra financial burdens are part of the short list as the season unfolds. Our current recessionary economy may still be affecting us, or someone close to us, which further exacerbates stress levels leaving many feeling even more depressed. Keeping our lives in perspective on this special day of sharing and caring, can make a big difference in how well we are able to cope with the extra stress and uncomfortable feelings. The following tips are something for people to consider to help manage the additional stress and anxiety that this special day carries. Remembering that even though it feels uncomfortable, sometimes family, friends, and co-workers may lose sight of the feelings of other people during this busy holiday season. It is not personal! Being considerate and compassionate toward others is a tough balancing act. The following recipe for Holiday Harmony is worth your consideration.     

          

C.A.R.E.S. recipe for Happy Holidays:

1. Communication: Keep it positive with an extra dose of active listening to make people feel like you really care. People feel more at ease when you are genuinely interested in a conversation.

2. Anger Management: Recognize your triggers and walk away from verbal conflicts before they escalate. It’s ok to “put your temper in the crock pot before you lose your top”. It’s ok to ask for a time out when your upset, frustrated, or feeling flustered from negative emotions. It’s ok to cool off and regroup.  

3. Relationship Management: Plan your day and company with positive people. This is a special challenge when large groups come together. Please consider this time as a few hours of compromise when that obnoxious family member or person makes their cameo appearance with other people you care about.

4. Emotional Intelligence: Please consider other peoples thoughts, feelings and opinions before taking a stand or making a comment to someone else. Please remember we have two ears to listen twice as much as we speak. Interrupting a conversation is considered to be inconsiderate or rude behavior. Please remember your tongue is the strongest muscle in your body. The words you choose can easily overwhelm another person in a negative way if your tone, body language or lack of consideration are not well measured.

5. Stress Management: Develop an awareness of your negative stressors and consider writing them down if your memory banks are easily overwhelmed. Remember that “failing to plan is planning to fail”. Time and financial management are critical especially during the busy holiday season.

Happy Thanksgiving from all of us at North Valley Anger Management Consultants! For further information regarding anger management, emotional intelligence, or domestic violence, please call 1-888-992-6479 or visit our website at www.nvamc.com. For further information regarding crisis intervention please call 1-714-NEW HOPE (714-639-4673) or visit www.suicidehotlines.com

Surviving The Holiday Blues (Scrooge-itis)

It happens every year. Shortly after Halloween, the Holiday season begins. It starts with the retail ads, picks up speed in the grocery stores, and often consumes the work place and community, then before you know it the tidal wave of “good cheer” has taken over everyday life. Except, many people don’t feel very cheerful. In fact, at times, many people find themselves simultaneously dreading and resenting the Holidays. Indeed, some may even find themselves identifying with Ebeneezer Scrooge, in that they are inexplicably feeling angry, bitter, sad, resentful, overwhelmed, lonely, and disconnected. However, if you or someone you love believe have identified many, if not all, of the symptoms of “Scrooge-itis” this does not mean you secretly dislike children, nor that you will suddenly become miserly, greedy, or mean. What these symptoms may mean is that you or a loved one may be struggling with unresolved Grief and Loss, Traumatic Grief, Trauma, Abandonment issues, or concerns otherwise deemed “The Holiday Blues.” The good news is you, or your loved one, is not ALONE! Thousands of people feel the exact same way each and every year. The importance of recognizing the signs and symptoms associated with “The Holiday Blues” and seeking professional help is the key to successfully coping with the holiday season. If you, or a loved one, are experiencing several or more of the following symptoms seek immediate assistance from a mental health professional in your area, or call the National Crisis Hotline 24 hours a day at 1-800-273-8255 www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org:

1)      Sadness

2)      Tearfulness

3)      Hopelessness

4)      Isolating

5)      Unexplained loss of Interest in previously enjoyed hobbies or activities

6)      Unexplained loss of appetite

7)      Unexplained increase in appetite

8)      Unexplained anger/irritability

9)      Disrupted Sleep

10)   Inability to focus

11)   Increased use of alcohol  

12)   Suicidal Ideation

13)   Homicidal Ideation

14)   Poor hygiene/lack of desire to bath/brush teeth

15)   Increased absences at work or school

For more information, or referrals, regarding coping with the Holiday Blues help is just a phone call away. Call 211, 1-800-854-7771 or visit www.healthycity.org or www.namila.org/crisis-hotlines-hospitals  For life threatening emergencies or immediate assistance call 911. Remember, you are not alone!

Happy Holidays from All of Us at North Valley Anger Management Consultants!

For more information about our anger, stress, and domestic violence programs call 1-888-992-6479 or visit www.nvamc.com. 

Take the Anger Out of Christmas!

With the fiscal cliff looming, ever increasing unemployment, and hyperinflation turning grocery shopping into financial terrorism, holiday anger isn't just on the rise but has set up permanent residency!

In keeping with the holiday spirit of hope and salvation, North Valley Anger Management Consultants, in Mission Hills, CA., thought the following tips maybe useful to help you and your loved ones deal with holiday stress:

1. Watch carefully the amount of alcohol you consume. Many anger management students confess that excessive drinking definitely contributed to family conflict and aggression.

2.Reduce stress by managing your time carefully and not over-scheduling yourself. Take time for yourself.

3. Adjust your expectations of family members. No, Aunt Irene hasn’t changed since last year. Tell yourself that you only have to see her once a year- you can cope with it.

4. Work on forgiveness skills. Let old resentments go. Holding grudges hurts you more than your relatives.

5. Develop better empathy skills. Try to see the world from the viewpoint of irritating family members and you may be shocked at how your anger dissipates.

6. Limit the amount of time you spend with stressfull family members. Remember the "spirit" of the season can be shared just as well with brief quality time.

7. Celebrating the holidays doesn't have to be expensive. You can keep Christmas alive and well without going broke. Reconnect with the meaning of Christmas through religious or cultural practices.

For more tips on how to deal with angry feelings, holiday stress, or the angry behavior of others, call us at 1-888-992-6479 or visit our website at www.nvamc.com


Happy Holidays from North Valley Anger Management Consultants!

Safely Coping With Holiday Anger & Stress

One may think the Holiday Season is everybodys  favorite time of year. The weather is cooling. The leaves are falling; the food is getting richer and more decadant. It’s the time of smiling faces, warm cozy fires, hearts full of joy, and families filled with love and togetherness right?

As pretty a picture as the media would try to sell us, we all know the truth. The Holidays are full of family stress, anger, conflict, and pressure. In fact, some of the the following stress filled messages may be running through your mind right now. What will we make for dinner? Who is coming over? What is the budget looking like for presents this year? How do I stop myself from getting angry at the in-laws? Where will my family stay? Is there enough space in our house? Will the kids actually let me sleep today? Do I really want to have to talk to my brother, mother in law, cousin, other family members I don't like ?

With all these stresses and pressures a short temper, anger, and cranky snappy responses are bound to arise. All it takes is the smallest thing to set us off during these times. Sometimes maladaptive coping, such as over indulgence in food and drink can seem like the only way to get through the season.

Coping with the season in a positive and safe way is not easy, but it can be done.

Often, it is the the little things that help the most.  Just remember to breathe, the holidays don’t last forever. Try to keep in mind that even with all the build up, expectations and disappointment that often come with the season, ultimately they are just days, and you can get through them just like you do every other day that has come, or is yet to come. Just be aware of your mood and tone of voice, your body language, and that other peoples behavior is not personal. Another thing to keep in mind is that alcohol only adds to the problem, and can be down right dangerous. Keeping the holiday cheer in check will help keep the anger and stress in check too. It helps when you realize that everyone else is just as stressed as you are. You are not alone; just smile, relax and try to enjoy what you can. Remember, you are the only one who can keep yourself safe, sober, and under control.

For information and assistance coping with holiday stress, please visit our website at www.nvamc.com  or call us toll free at 1-888-992-6479 today.

Happy Holidays from North Valley Anger Management Consultants!

How to Survive The Holidays Anger Free

The Holidays can be challenging for many people, most especially during these difficult economic times. Whether finances or family are giving you the Holiday Blues, following the road map below will definitly help you to successfully negotiate the emotional tidal wave associated with the season without loosing control, exploding in anger, or over indulging.

The key surviving the Holidays without explosive anger is resiliency: Having resilency means developing a set of tools we can use to cope with the various emotional challenges and triggers the Holidays may bring. Resiliency is a learned behavior that anyone may learn and incorporate at any point in their life.

Defining Resilience:

The word "resiliencies" is used to describe clusters of stengths that are mobilized in the

struggle with hardship. The vocabulary of strengths includes seven resiliencies which are as

follows:

Insight -

asking tough questions and giving honest answers.

Independence -

life.

distancing emotionally and physically from the sources of trouble in one's

Relationships -

making fulfilling connections to other people. -

Initiative -

taking charge of problems.

Creativity -

using imagination and expressing oneself in art forms.

Humor -

finding the comic in the tragic.

Morality -

acting on the basis of an informed conscience.

Diagramming the Seven Resiliencies:

The Wolins have represented the resiliencies pictorially on a diagram they call the

resiliency mandala. A symbolic circle that stands for peace and order in the self, the mandala

was identified by Carl Jung as a universal symbol.

 

For more information about coping with anger, or a free consultation, please call 1-888-992-6479 or visit our website at www.nvamc.com today.

Happy Holidays!

North Valley Anger Management Consultants