Family Stress & Holiday Cheer: A Survival Guide

We often think the Holiday Season is everyone’s  favorite time of year. The weather is cooling. The leaves are falling; the food is getting richer and more decadent. It’s the time of smiling faces, warm cozy fires, hearts full of joy, and families filled with love and togetherness right?
As pretty a picture as the media would try to sell us, we all know the truth. The Holidays are full of family stress, anger, conflict, and pressure. In fact, some of the following stress filled messages may be running through your mind right now. What will we make for dinner? Who is coming over? What is the budget looking like for presents this year? How do I stop myself from getting angry at the in-laws? Where will my family stay? Is there enough space in our house? Will the kids actually let me sleep today? Do I really want to have to talk to my brother, mother in law, cousin, other family members I don't like ?

With all these stresses and pressures a short temper, anger, and cranky snappy responses are bound to arise. All it takes is the smallest thing to set us off during family gatherings, which often leads to poor coping resulting in overeating and excess alcohol consumption. At times, this may seem like the only way to get through the Holiday Season. Admittedly, safely coping with the Christmas Season in a positive and healthy way is not always easy, but it can be done. Often, it is the little things that help the most. The following is a list of helpful tricks to help you cope:

1. Remember to breathe- the Holidays don’t last forever.

2. This too shall pass! Try to keep in mind that even with all the build up, expectations and disappointment that often come with the season, ultimately they are just days, and you can get through them just like you do every other day that has come, or is yet to come.

3. Be aware of your mood and tone of voice, your body language.

4.  It's not all about you! Other people are stressed too. Don't take other peoples moods and behaviors personally.

 5. Please remember that alcohol only adds to the problem, and can be down right dangerous. Keeping the Holiday cheer in check will help keep the anger and stress in check too.

It helps when you realize that everyone else is just as stressed as you are. You are not alone; just smile, relax and try to enjoy what you can. Remember, you are the only one who can keep yourself safe, sober, and under control. For information and assistance coping with holiday stress, please visit our website at www.nvamc.com  or call us toll free at 1-888-992-6479 today.

Happy Holidays from North Valley Anger Management Consultants 

Surviving The Holiday Blues (Scrooge-itis)

It happens every year. Shortly after Halloween, the Holiday season begins. It starts with the retail ads, picks up speed in the grocery stores, and often consumes the work place and community, then before you know it the tidal wave of “good cheer” has taken over everyday life. Except, many people don’t feel very cheerful. In fact, at times, many people find themselves simultaneously dreading and resenting the Holidays. Indeed, some may even find themselves identifying with Ebeneezer Scrooge, in that they are inexplicably feeling angry, bitter, sad, resentful, overwhelmed, lonely, and disconnected. However, if you or someone you love believe have identified many, if not all, of the symptoms of “Scrooge-itis” this does not mean you secretly dislike children, nor that you will suddenly become miserly, greedy, or mean. What these symptoms may mean is that you or a loved one may be struggling with unresolved Grief and Loss, Traumatic Grief, Trauma, Abandonment issues, or concerns otherwise deemed “The Holiday Blues.” The good news is you, or your loved one, is not ALONE! Thousands of people feel the exact same way each and every year. The importance of recognizing the signs and symptoms associated with “The Holiday Blues” and seeking professional help is the key to successfully coping with the holiday season. If you, or a loved one, are experiencing several or more of the following symptoms seek immediate assistance from a mental health professional in your area, or call the National Crisis Hotline 24 hours a day at 1-800-273-8255 www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org:

1)      Sadness

2)      Tearfulness

3)      Hopelessness

4)      Isolating

5)      Unexplained loss of Interest in previously enjoyed hobbies or activities

6)      Unexplained loss of appetite

7)      Unexplained increase in appetite

8)      Unexplained anger/irritability

9)      Disrupted Sleep

10)   Inability to focus

11)   Increased use of alcohol  

12)   Suicidal Ideation

13)   Homicidal Ideation

14)   Poor hygiene/lack of desire to bath/brush teeth

15)   Increased absences at work or school

For more information, or referrals, regarding coping with the Holiday Blues help is just a phone call away. Call 211, 1-800-854-7771 or visit www.healthycity.org or www.namila.org/crisis-hotlines-hospitals  For life threatening emergencies or immediate assistance call 911. Remember, you are not alone!

Happy Holidays from All of Us at North Valley Anger Management Consultants!

For more information about our anger, stress, and domestic violence programs call 1-888-992-6479 or visit www.nvamc.com. 

Take the Anger Out of Christmas!

With the fiscal cliff looming, ever increasing unemployment, and hyperinflation turning grocery shopping into financial terrorism, holiday anger isn't just on the rise but has set up permanent residency!

In keeping with the holiday spirit of hope and salvation, North Valley Anger Management Consultants, in Mission Hills, CA., thought the following tips maybe useful to help you and your loved ones deal with holiday stress:

1. Watch carefully the amount of alcohol you consume. Many anger management students confess that excessive drinking definitely contributed to family conflict and aggression.

2.Reduce stress by managing your time carefully and not over-scheduling yourself. Take time for yourself.

3. Adjust your expectations of family members. No, Aunt Irene hasn’t changed since last year. Tell yourself that you only have to see her once a year- you can cope with it.

4. Work on forgiveness skills. Let old resentments go. Holding grudges hurts you more than your relatives.

5. Develop better empathy skills. Try to see the world from the viewpoint of irritating family members and you may be shocked at how your anger dissipates.

6. Limit the amount of time you spend with stressfull family members. Remember the "spirit" of the season can be shared just as well with brief quality time.

7. Celebrating the holidays doesn't have to be expensive. You can keep Christmas alive and well without going broke. Reconnect with the meaning of Christmas through religious or cultural practices.

For more tips on how to deal with angry feelings, holiday stress, or the angry behavior of others, call us at 1-888-992-6479 or visit our website at www.nvamc.com


Happy Holidays from North Valley Anger Management Consultants!

Safely Coping With Holiday Anger & Stress

One may think the Holiday Season is everybodys  favorite time of year. The weather is cooling. The leaves are falling; the food is getting richer and more decadant. It’s the time of smiling faces, warm cozy fires, hearts full of joy, and families filled with love and togetherness right?

As pretty a picture as the media would try to sell us, we all know the truth. The Holidays are full of family stress, anger, conflict, and pressure. In fact, some of the the following stress filled messages may be running through your mind right now. What will we make for dinner? Who is coming over? What is the budget looking like for presents this year? How do I stop myself from getting angry at the in-laws? Where will my family stay? Is there enough space in our house? Will the kids actually let me sleep today? Do I really want to have to talk to my brother, mother in law, cousin, other family members I don't like ?

With all these stresses and pressures a short temper, anger, and cranky snappy responses are bound to arise. All it takes is the smallest thing to set us off during these times. Sometimes maladaptive coping, such as over indulgence in food and drink can seem like the only way to get through the season.

Coping with the season in a positive and safe way is not easy, but it can be done.

Often, it is the the little things that help the most.  Just remember to breathe, the holidays don’t last forever. Try to keep in mind that even with all the build up, expectations and disappointment that often come with the season, ultimately they are just days, and you can get through them just like you do every other day that has come, or is yet to come. Just be aware of your mood and tone of voice, your body language, and that other peoples behavior is not personal. Another thing to keep in mind is that alcohol only adds to the problem, and can be down right dangerous. Keeping the holiday cheer in check will help keep the anger and stress in check too. It helps when you realize that everyone else is just as stressed as you are. You are not alone; just smile, relax and try to enjoy what you can. Remember, you are the only one who can keep yourself safe, sober, and under control.

For information and assistance coping with holiday stress, please visit our website at www.nvamc.com  or call us toll free at 1-888-992-6479 today.

Happy Holidays from North Valley Anger Management Consultants!

How to Survive The Holidays Anger Free

The Holidays can be challenging for many people, most especially during these difficult economic times. Whether finances or family are giving you the Holiday Blues, following the road map below will definitly help you to successfully negotiate the emotional tidal wave associated with the season without loosing control, exploding in anger, or over indulging.

The key surviving the Holidays without explosive anger is resiliency: Having resilency means developing a set of tools we can use to cope with the various emotional challenges and triggers the Holidays may bring. Resiliency is a learned behavior that anyone may learn and incorporate at any point in their life.

Defining Resilience:

The word "resiliencies" is used to describe clusters of stengths that are mobilized in the

struggle with hardship. The vocabulary of strengths includes seven resiliencies which are as

follows:

Insight -

asking tough questions and giving honest answers.

Independence -

life.

distancing emotionally and physically from the sources of trouble in one's

Relationships -

making fulfilling connections to other people. -

Initiative -

taking charge of problems.

Creativity -

using imagination and expressing oneself in art forms.

Humor -

finding the comic in the tragic.

Morality -

acting on the basis of an informed conscience.

Diagramming the Seven Resiliencies:

The Wolins have represented the resiliencies pictorially on a diagram they call the

resiliency mandala. A symbolic circle that stands for peace and order in the self, the mandala

was identified by Carl Jung as a universal symbol.

 

For more information about coping with anger, or a free consultation, please call 1-888-992-6479 or visit our website at www.nvamc.com today.

Happy Holidays!

North Valley Anger Management Consultants

Emotional Intelligence & Anger

Emotional Intelligence & Anger

According to Wikipedia, "the earliest roots of emotional intelligence (EQ) can be traced to Darwin's work on the importance of emotional expression for survival and second adaptation. In the 1900s, even though traditional definitions of intelligence emphasized cognitive aspects such as memory and problem-solving, several influential researchers in the intelligence field of study had begun to recognize the importance of the non-cognitive aspects. For instance, as early as 1920, E.L. Thorndike used the term social intelligence to describe the skill of understanding and managing other people.

Similarly, in 1940 David Wechsler described the influence of non-intellective factors on intelligent behavior, and further argued that our models of intelligence would not be complete until we can adequately describe these factors. In 1983, Howard Gardner'sFrames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences introduced the idea of multiple intelligences which included both interpersonal intelligence (the capacity to understand the intentions, motivations and desires of other people) and intrapersonal intelligence (the capacity to understand oneself, to appreciate one's feelings, fears and motivations). In Gardner's view, traditional types of intelligence, such as IQ, fail to fully explain cognitive ability. Thus, even though the names given to the concept varied, there was a common belief that traditional definitions of intelligence are lacking in ability to fully explain performance outcomes."

Anger is a primitive emotion that all human beings experience. However, it is important to note that anger can also have a very disruptive effect on one's emotional intelligence (EQ). One technique that may be of  assistance with re-empowering the intelligence aspect of one's psyche is anger management. Through the use of an evidenced based anger management program, students are taught to utilize thought (intelligence) to circumvent feelings (emotion) from negatively influencing actions. Although anger is hard wired into the reptillian brain, it does not have to over ride emotional intelligence (EQ). To reclaim control and increase your EQ, consider employing thought stopping, relaxation techniques, as well as increasing verbal expression all of which have become components of successful anger management programs.

For more information about anger management and it's ability to assit individuals with increasing their emotional intelligence visit www.nvamc.com or call 888-892-6479 today.

Don't Let The Grinch Get You Down: Coping With Holiday Anger!

With the state of the economy, rise in unemployment, and hyperinflation holiday anger is on the rise.
The following five tips have been found useful to help you and your loved ones deal with holiday stress:
1. Watch carefully the amount of alcohol you consume. Many anger management students confess that excessive drinking definitely contributed to family conflict and aggression.
2.Reduce stress by managing your time carefully and not over-scheduling yourself. Take time for yourself.
3. Adjust your expectations of family members. No, Aunt Irene hasn’t changed since last year. Tell yourself that you only have to see her once a year- you can cope with it.
4. Work on forgiveness skills. Let old resentments go. Holding grudges hurts you more than your relatives.
5. Develop better empathy skills. Try to see the world from the viewpoint of irritating family members and you may be shocked at how your anger dissipates.
For more tips on how to deal with angry feelings or the angry behavior of others, call us at 888-992-6479 or visit our website at www.nvamc.com